In this podcast, we speak to Vasanti Kea about using sacred sexuality as a social movement for the collective empowerment and recalibration of our society.
Stephen James Burford
Hi, everyone. Today we're here with Vasanti Kea who's out of Toronto, Canada and she is a tantric teacher and erotic empowerment guide with a mission to help people reclaim this sacred sexuality for happiness and healing. So, it Vasanti, How are you doing?
Hi, Steve, nice to be connected with you.
Stephen James Burford
Before we start, can you tell people a little bit more about your background and how you got into the what do you do?
Yeah, I've been studying Tantra pretty aggressively for about eight years. And it all really started, like the best things in life, I believe, by chance, unexpectedly. So I had been, you know, sexually active for a long time. And finding that the sexual encounters that I was engaging in really weren't very nourishing for me. I had been conditioned, like all of us, you know, I grew up in the Barbie and Spice Girl generation, and really given a very small mould to fit into as to what you know what sexy was or what femininity was or what sex was supposed to look like or feel like. And I felt so constricted by that.
And while I was having, you know, tons of lovers and tons of fun, I found that the encounters I was having really left me depleted afterwards instead of nourished. And it just so happened I was in Thailand, I was living a pretty nomadic kind of life and a partner I had just gave me a book called Sex to Super Consciousness by Osho. And that was the first notion I ever had that sex could actually be a spiritual experience. And, you know, within reading the first page, I was just in tears and absolutely enthralled with this idea of Tantra and sacred sexuality.
So the more I dove into that, I was actively seeking tantric partners and looking to do tantric meditations on myself and self-pleasure practices. And the more I dove into that, the more in touch with my own trauma I became. So, you know, having suffered from childhood sexual abuse, I, through Tantra, was able to discover all of the ways that my body, my mind, and my spirit were really, really limited by the trauma I had suffered.
Through reading these books I realized the fullness that Tantra can offer us and I realized that I am was pretty much held within the clutches of my trauma. So that really sparked an immense healing journey for me. And that's really what led me to becoming a Tantra teacher today is that you know, I really realized just how important our sexuality is in our, the whole picture of the empowerment of our awakening, of just being the highest and truest version of ourself.
Stephen James Burford
Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your very powerful journey and it's vulnerable to share such things.
I can understand from definitely going on that healing journey of my own that this unfolding that happens, this healing that happens is is a deep, emotional and spiritual experience that when we go through it, then we can come back with gifts for other people. So yeah, thank you for sharing.
So today we want to talk more, I guess deeply about that. And what exactly Sacred Sexuality can do for us as a collective. When you sent me that the topic for the podcast that was most important on your mind when you hear when you thought about what you wanted to talk to me today about?
Sure. So this is a theme that I'm super passionate about and that I always, you know, in all of my workshops and retreats I always talk about with people because, you know, I do believe most of us are in pursuit of a better world. You know, we look at the state of our world, the environmental degradation, all of the bullshit all the nonsense that's going on around us. And all of us are looking for our way and how we can contribute to making it a better place.
And like I had just shared with my journey I found, the more and more connected I became and the more and more one I became with my sexual energy. The more and more empowered I became, the more confident I felt, the more assertive I felt and the more I really felt like I was coming home to myself. So this is something I really love to instil in my teachings.
And my philosophy in my own life is really that by connecting with our sexual energy, we become connected to ourselves. And I think, you know, that, in essence, is what the world is missing. We look at our political leaders. You know, even a lot of the role models that we have in society like celebrities or you know, pro athletes or whatever, and I wonder how connected they really are to their hearts. I wonder how connected they really are to their bellies. I wonder how deeply they breathe. And this is really something that I find is so important in our awakening. So, we have been as a society, especially women, systematically and intentionally denied access to the fullness of our sexuality for a long time, you know, through religious oppression, cultural conditioning from shame. We've really been kept small as humans, and not taught the fullness of our power. So when we can separate you know, sex and sexuality from all the taboo and all the conditioning of you know, what sex is and sex is dirty and sex is wrong and all of this, we get in touch with the fact that sexual energy is just life energy.
It's the same energy that you know makes the world go round, the same energy that makes fruit fall off a tree or a flower. The cultures and ancient civilizations knew this thousands of years ago that sex energy is really nothing other than life and creativity. It's very powerful to be used for manifestation.
So when we're cut off from our sexual energy, we're cut off from all of creation. We're cut off from our superpowers as humans because we have so many of them.
We just simply aren't taught that. So, when I speak of sacred sexuality, it's really about coming home to the full spectrum of how epic we are as humans. How much power we have, how much love we can share. And that's really, you know, orgasms and, you know, crazy sexual experiences, whatever, that's all great. But for me in my work, the sacred sexuality is really about coming home to that place of our empowerment.
Stephen James Burford
I have to mention again, as you mentioned especially women, I would say it's especially men and all genders. Most men I speak to just don't know anything about what's going on with the sexuality in the bodies that you have. I was thinking as you were speaking then, like others, there's another company actually they speak about the orgasm gap. And the men are having these orgasms and women don't know how having orgasms, and that's creating a gap. I don't really subscribe to that because in a sense, a duck can have an orgasm. A dog can ejaculate or a monkey can. But that doesn't mean they know anything about their sexuality. 99.9% of humans, they're not aware. Unless I go to some tantric workshop or Sacred Sexuality workshop where I meet people who are maybe experiencing things like I am, or some other people that I know are just rare, I just don't meet those people.
So we've all been denied this knowledge in my opinion, there's really not a battle between this orgasm gap or whatever. There's just so much information and self-awareness needed around people's bodies that breath their emotional intelligence, what is triggering them what is causing them to go into a fight and freeze responses in their life and then building the empowerment as you say from there, this education is needed so badly out there.
Absolutely. Absolutely. I agree with what you say about you know, but men also not knowing and men not being in the loop about that a lot of men, if not most men, that I speak to, you know, have no idea that orgasm and ejaculation are two different phenomena. They're two separate things.
And a lot of men come and say, Yeah, I have orgasms all the time. I ejaculate twice a day. And it's like, wow, okay, you know, how can we recalibrate that idea? How can we really help people to, to come into balance with their sexuality and really know how to use it effectively for our empowerment?
Stephen James Burford
What does empowerment mean to you?
For me, that empowerment through Sacred Sexuality looks like embodiment. A lot of it is, you know, a lot of people in this world are kind of living through the higher chakras. So they're familiar with the chakra system. It's living in a way that is not necessarily integrated into the entire body.
So we can be very cosmic and very you know, astral travelling and intuition and all of this stuff, but a lack of groundedness a lack of connectedness to the earth. So that first and foremost comes back to nature and being really embodied, being in our body and connected to our body and it becomes, you know, with empowerment, we really become more attuned with our senses.
So we become more sensual, we become more alive and more awake, we become much more assertive in our communication. We become, you know, juicy or we become more orgasmic. It's like a physiological and a hormonal activation of our human body of our human spirit of our emotions.
It really becomes an assertiveness, a lack of shame, a lack of fear around being our true self and really embodying the huge enormity of who we are and our power. So much of our lives were really kept small. Or we have to fit into a certain box that our parents give us or our society gives us our religion gives us. So for me, empowerment is the capacity to step out of that box and ask myself who am I really, and live that truth.
Stephen James Burford
I'm trying to think about what it means to me.
To me, it is the ability to feel more and then be an embodied version of that feeling out in the world. I was saying to my friend the other day who was asking me about my capacity to feel extended 25-minute full-body, spine brain orgasm type things.
And I said, well, people who can do these things (I've never known one of them) myself included, who didn't have these kinds of experiences outside of a sexual experience that they had. For example, I had breathwork experiences or even in a workshop where seemingly nothing was going on and this crazy kind of Kundalini snake dragon energy ran through my whole entire body. And it was insane for like 30 minutes.
So that capacity to feel more does empower you to create change in your life and in the world.
I can tell by this conversation we're on the same wavelength. So, yeah, that's kind of what it means to me.
Cool. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I always say that how we show up in the bedroom or in our, you know, in our erotic space is really how we show up in life. So, you know, our capacity to advocate for our pleasure is a huge piece of empowerment for me and something I really work with a lot with clients.
I also associate one on one clients and I do Yoni massage and Lingam massage for men and women. And a huge piece of that is actually being able to advocate for our pleasure and actually first identify and then express how is it that we want to be touched, and this is huge for people.
A lot of people and you know, myself included, before I got into Tantra, pretty much it was just like the cross your fingers and hope for the best. Maybe you get someone who knows what they're doing, or maybe you don't. And I really love turning those tables and actually having that touch be client guided.
So first asking them how would you like to be touched? And a lot of people aren't able to answer that question because they've never been asked it before.
So, a huge piece of empowerment for me is really first identifying what our pleasure is. And then being able to actually express it and ask for it. That's huge because then we become the master of our pleasure. And then our pleasure, you know, our pleasure fills us with so many feel-good hormones. It really awakens us from the inside out. And that's a huge piece of really stepping into our truth and stepping into our authentic power for me.
Stephen James Burford
Yeah, and that all comes down to taking responsibility for your pleasure, which, if you're going to take responsibility in your life, one of the first things you should probably start with is your own pleasure.
As well as, I don't know, keeping your house clean or something. The thing in the world that does frustrate me at times is living in a world where a lot of people are not taking responsibility in this.
There's so much blame going on.
What about yourself? Do you have frustrations when you see someone, maybe a client or in a workshop and they won't take responsibility or out the world in general, if we're going to have this collective social movement, don't we, at the bare minimum, need people to step up and take self-responsibility for their own pleasure?
Absolutely we do. You know, when I see someone who is incapable or unwilling to do that, my response is compassion because I just know, you know, we are not given the tools as children. We are role models are people who don't advocate for their pleasure and don't often don't even know pleasure can exist for them and don't value pleasure.
So, I know that learning curve is very, very, very difficult and very challenging for some people, especially you know, if we've been conditioned by religion, this is a huge one, that we might have not been given that information at all. Or we might have been given the information that pleasure is actually bad.
Pleasure is sinful pleasure is something that we should not experience. So, you know, mental deconditioning is a very, very difficult thing. It can bring up a lot of emotion, it can bring up a lot of trauma, and you know, shame is one of the lowest frequencies in the world. So, when we're vibrating at the frequency of shame, it doesn't really resonate with the frequency of pleasure. So I understand that it's very, very difficult for people.
I, myself, went through it, I myself had to, you know, really challenge a lot of my beliefs and really reprogram myself to be, you know, resonating at the frequency of, yes, this is medicine for me and yes, my pleasure is important.
And, you know, it's a long journey. So I'm very compassionate for people who are there. And I love helping people. I love helping guide them through their own, you know, their own epic sagas of what's blocking them, you know, what are the roadblocks between you and your true authentic explosive, delicious pleasure?
Stephen James Burford
Beautifully answered. You mentioned religion there. We did a podcast called Sex and the Bible, if anyone's interested in listening to that one. But, with religion, it's kind of strange that they think they have the authority to have the education system over someone's sexuality and yet, the Pope was saying nuns had been abused by priests. God knows what else is going on.
And you have to think about the time when all these religions kind of arose on this Earth some way before Christ. I think people are still inventing religions to this day.
What is their agenda? When it's love, there's hope, but doesn't seem entirely loving when you're trying to control a whole populations agenda around their sexuality.
Yeah, well, I mean, you know, I'm not I'm no, I'm no scholar on this, but I definitely have my own opinions about you know, why those religions and specific targeted our sexuality and made it something sinful and shameful and something really, to be condemned.
And I think it is just because of its sheer power.
I think when we're really truly connected to our sexuality, we understand that through sexual energy we can awaken ourselves, we can really live through our senses, we can really manifest pretty much anything that we want. We can know things through our intuition, we can feel compassion in our heart. You know, we become infinitely powerful when we're connected to our sexuality.
So why would we need, you know, why would we need an external force? Why would we need a god? Tantra teaches us that the God or the Goddess is right here alive in our body right now. There's no middleman between us and the divine, or between us and the universe of us in truth, that's what we are. So this directly conflicts with the agenda of religion, which is to have an external force that pretty much governs us or keeps us in line with their values. So I do believe it was at least I'm speaking in the Catholic/Christianity kind of the Western European religion, because this is what I just this is my bias because I grew up in the West.
I do believe that it was systematically designed to keep us away from that power so that we would follow a different agenda, an agenda of obedience and complacency.
And, you know, look at our world today, there are so many of us, who are really, you know, in the box, we, so many of us work these jobs that we hate, we're controlled by consumerism. You know, the list goes on and on even to the food we eat, and the environments that we live in the environmental degradation that's going on, it's, you know, it can seem pretty diabolical when we look at it.
So that's why I think this empowerment is so important because as we become empowered and as that collective awakening that we're all looking for, through our sexuality really starts to take hold. We drift away from these social constructs. And these, you know, the societal conditioning that's kept us there for so many years.
Stephen James Burford
Yeah, I think that also they were definitely trying to control the population to in terms of numbers, but I don't really blame everything on religions. Again, it's pretty pointless to blame for my experience on the planet.
On Podcast #104 I go through details of my shamanic journey where I was dealing with forces to get off this planet in other dimensions that were seemingly trying to keep this planet in a frequency prison and there were almost infinite amounts of this energy where they would rip my soul out and such. It was not fun and I nearly killed myself through that process.
When we go into finding out what really went on this planet. You can deep dive on the Internet for hours discovering stuff. You don't go down conspiracy theories, but it's mostly a waste of time, we can still empower ourselves right now, if we're living in countries that allow us to, there are still a few countries on the world that really would not want to be born particularly, unfortunately, these still low stakes exist, but those in the Western world, you're much of Asia has an opportunity here, like, and there isn't anything that you can't do on your own. You don't even need a sexual partner.
Absolutely. And that's so that's such an important piece that you're mentioning, because, you know, a lot of people come to me and they say,
"Oh, I really, you know, I really want to practice Tantra I really want to heal I really want to empower myself, but oh, I don't have a partner so I can't."
And I say oh, that's perfect, because really, this journey is so beautiful to share with the partner and just you know, the intimacy that we can share with another is an incredible key to awakening our power and awakening our love energy. But I do believe it's best endeavoured on our own, at least to begin with, just because there's so much getting to know ourselves that we haven't perhaps had access to for our whole lives.
I know myself. I didn't know what my pleasure looked like... what my nourishment looked like. I didn't know how to make love to myself, I was so used to being loved, made love to by other people. So when I took a vow of celibacy for a long time and just started to really practice tantric techniques, Tao is techniques and meditation alone. When the time came, that I was able to, you know, I felt ready to open that up with a partner. I was just so much more embodied and so much more awakened to who I really was, and that, that makes everything so much amplified and so much stronger in its essence.
And yeah, I really love what you said about, you know, not blaming religions or not blaming any of these social constructs or the government or whatever. Because, you know, in the end, it's pretty pointless. It doesn't really matter what's going on in the past, what matters is what we can do about it today. And the responsibility that we take for our own awakening for the weakening of our society. You know, I really believe that we are all so infinitely powerful to create change, you know, we're all a drop in the ocean, you know, and eventually when the ocean that gets enough drops, it changes Osho speaks about the 10,000 Buddhas. So, you know, once you know we have a Buddha or an enlightened being, whether you agree with the concept of enlightenment or not, I think he's referring to you know, someone who is awakened and embodied In their own skin and their own spirit. And once we have 10,000 of them, the actual frequency of the earth changes.
So there's a tipping point where, you know, people who want to stay in the old paradigm are still there. But then there's more of us, the majority of us are actively seeking a better world and are actively working with ourselves working with our sexual energy working with our spiritual energy. And I believe those are one and the same, but there's still some distinction between them. You know, that's really what I think our work is today. And that's what I'm, you know, loving, that you're sharing all of this information, the work that I'm doing, there's just so many people around the world who are doing their own unique offering their own unique contribution to our collective empowerment. And that's really what it's all about.
So, you know, we can spend so many hours on the internet digging through conspiracy theories and blaming this, that and the other but really, if we bring all of that energy to our heart, to our belly to our head. That's where the real change starts to happen.
Stephen James Burford
Hmm. Yeah, I mean, if you got access to most podcasts and YouTube and a room on your own way you can practice then you've got enough information then you want to start adding on workshops because a community is really important in all of this.
I think when you can find others who are on a similar path. Then it really really helps. There are great workshops out there such as yours and also ours (In Prague).
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, there is still this imbalance of, well, you know, in the West in the east, we have so many different kinds of philosophies and different ways about going different ways of going about, you know, reaching enlightenment or reaching that the state of Buddhahood, or whatever you want to call it.
So, you know, reaching that state where we feel empowered, we feel embodied, we feel awakened we feel that we can really enjoy we live on our frequency of pleasure, not to say it's sunshine and rainbows all the time, but that we generally live in a frequency of pleasure and joy.
You know, we do just because of the way of the world right now, the disparity of wealth. We do have, we do tend to have more access to that in the West. And I do believe that this Earth is a global village. And there is no difference between, you know, us sitting in Europe and me sitting in Canada and our, our brothers and sisters in Asia and Australia and Africa and South America. So it's like, that's even more motivation for me to keep doing this work and keep sharing this work is because we all have so much to offer. And if we have more access to it in one part of the world, that's all the more reason to keep sharing it so that we can reach people everywhere, because everyone is entitled, and everyone has, you know, really has the right it's our birthright, to have access to this information and to be empowered through our bodies and our energy and to be able to enjoy our erotic energy.
I do see it as not only as a pleasure and as a privilege that I have, but I see it for myself as an obligation to our global village to really do my best and really show up and that's also really something I drive home. In my workshops and retreats and stuff is, you know, what is your individual gift and your offering to this earth? And once you're able to identify it, you know, don't let anything get in your way of sharing it and pursuing it and being able to really celebrate it.
Stephen James Burford
Yeah, I agree with some really important, what is the practical things that you recommend for people listening? Who are just getting in touch with this material that they can do for themselves on their own or maybe with a lover?
So that can be something like a conscious masturbation ritual or in Taoism, something they call solo cultivation. And for me, it really comes down to our connection. So something that I do almost every day and certainly before connecting with myself or connecting with a lover is just placing both of your hands on your genitals and taking some deep breaths. You know, this very, very, very simple act. it awakens the channel of our energy. it awakens that erotic space. You know, it really, it really just brings us home and grounds us into our agenda. As it awakens, the sensations were more connected to our genitals and all of the energy that can flow in and out of them and thus awakening a lot of channels in our body. Like, you can then move that breath in and out of the genitals here, into the genitals and out through the heart. Or, you know, through any of your chakras, but really connecting with breath, I think is the first and foremost fundamental practice of awakening and just starting your own erotic empowerment journey.
Stephen James Burford
Yeah, I would agree. Is that any way to make it into a real ritual that you recommend, as playing specific music, or I don't know, scent, or things like this,
So a lot of people, a lot of people and myself included, and one of the barriers to exploring that energies is trauma, actually, and once when our bodies have endured some kind of violation or some kind of trauma. And physiologically, from the amygdala in our brain, we set up a whole bunch of roadblocks between us and our erotic energy. So by creating a ritual around or you know, around your erotic space, it helps us to feel safe.
Unless we feel safe and secure, we will not be able to access our pleasure, we will not be able to access that awakening and that blossoming of our sexual energy because our bodies are programmed to think that it's dangerous. So making a ritual around it. So even if it's something as simple as saying some affirmations of your own safety to yourself in the mirror, you know, really breathing into yourself and letting yourself know that you're safe to unfold to unfurl to really let your petals open.
You know, I love to to close all the blinds and the curtains in my room, I have a lot of windows and turn on certain types of lighting like I have these beautiful salt lamps such as gave a really nice pink light. I have a certain type of music that I put on I love to burn incense and have an essential oil diffuser. So the environment itself is already one of safety and relaxation. Unless we feel safe and relaxed, we will not be able to access that erotic energy. And I can't stress that enough. It's SO important that we make that a priority in our erotic unravelling. So really creating a ritual around it. So perhaps you enter in meditation with some music.
Just get yourself in a place where your mind is calm, and your body is relaxed. So whatever that looks like for you, maybe you dance, maybe you do some Kundalini shakes, maybe you just sit in silence and breathe, whatever it is that feels grounding and clearing for you get into that state before you even you know, before even thinking about the genitals before even thinking about sexuality, really creating a frequency of relaxation in yourself that, you know, whatever that looks like for you. That's what I would recommend in terms of setting up a ritual.
Stephen James Burford
Yeah, some foreplay for yourself.
Self foreplay exactly.
Stephen James Burford
Yeah, I was just gonna say coconut oil, those, you know, just as long as it's no nothing that's irritating. So no essential oils or anything very, very scented or colored or synthetic. But really once again, it doesn't have to be, you know, it doesn't have to be anything advanced. It doesn't have to be anything crazy or very sophisticated. It can really be something as simple as just placing one hand on your genitals and another on your heart and breathing.
Or, you know, asking your body How would you like to be touched and listening for an answer? At first perhaps you don't hear anything and you don't move at all. And that's totally fine. Because, you know this, this is this self pleasure is like a muscle that we have not been taught to flex, we have not been taught to use or activate. So the more and more time and sweetness and sensitivity we can bring to this area, the more we can access it. So really being so patient with yourself and so compassionate with yourself as you, you know, as you walk down this long and winding road of your erotic empowerment, and you know, enjoy the journey, there's nowhere to arrive to, there's nowhere to go. There's nothing to do. It's really about us learning to come back to that subtlety of, of our own body and of our own desires. And, you know, that can mean just playing around and adventuring and exploring what's there. And slowly, slowly we start to experience Okay, this is what feels good for me. And then we can you know, then we can talk about it with a lover. But really we have to know it and be embodied and in ourselves first.
Yeah, beautifully put I completely agree. It's a, it's a journey. It's not done in one afternoon of ritual. But starting that first step is important. And then going on that continuing those steps, whatever that may look like doing your own research, finding out what is the next step for you. Maybe your friends are thinking the same things, and they want to step out and you start going on a journey with friends, you know, and community is so important in that as well.
Researching maybe if there's a tantric therapist in your city or your town or if there's someone offering Tantra workshops or sacred sexuality workshops, you know, if it isn't accessible to you, where you live, maybe making a priority to travel. There are tons of really incredible Tantra, teachers and sexuality educators that are offering retreats all around the world. So, you know, give yourself a vacation and give yourself also the gift of your erotic awakening. I really can't highlight that importance enough that your erotic awakening is your personal, spiritual, physical, emotional awakening. So it's a priority in our lives. And that's really where the social changes that we're talking about. I do believe that's where it's born.
Stephen James Burford
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Just to disclaimer or warning on choosing teachers. I mean, this huge amount of teachers been reported for abuse and in the Tantra community in the last year or so. It's almost, I mean, there's so many male teachers and I haven't heard anything from female side of things, but there's a lot of male teachers out there that have been reported. I actually don't recommend many male teachers anymore.
Yeah. And how might people get in touch with you and what is it you offer on your workshops and everything else?
Yeah, I'm offering workshops all around the world and working at a lot of festivals these days. But I'm really moving more into online one on one. So I'm in the process of recording a course right now, which I'll be releasing soon in the next few months. So stay in touch with me around that, you can subscribe to my newsletter to hear my updates and get access to that course when it comes out. And if you'd like to book a one on one session with me or just to call just to find out more about what I do, I'd be so happy to connect with you and just see what you know what kind of empowerment we can awaken together. I work with people online all over the world, in kind of three months wellness plans. I call it living Tantra wellness plan, because it's really about into being Tantra into your entire life. So of course into your bedroom, but also, you know, into your kitchen, into the way that perhaps you're parenting your children into the way that you communicate in your workplace or your assertiveness and you know, consciousness with boundaries. There's just 1,000,001 things That contract can really be dazzle your life with. So if you're interested in that, please do get in touch with me. I'd love to connect with you.
Stephen James Burford
Cool. Yeah. Thanks so much for sharing today, happy to get back home with you at some point and continue this conversation because it's an important one and one that's, you know, we always kind of need to continue evolving as well. So, thanks so much for coming on. Yeah,
Thank you, Steve. And yeah, I really just want to encourage anyone listening here to starting today, starting right now. Ask yourself how you can be more empowered in your expression, how you can really advocate for your pleasure, how you can really awaken yourself to your life purpose, and really use your erotic energy for your awakening today. And whether that's through, you know, a self leverageable or, you know, a creation that you've been wanting to make and holding yourself back. I really invite you to just get inspired by your own body. In your own energy today, and let us know how that goes.
Thank you Steve.