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11 Questions Before Commitment

 

1). Am I in a rush? 

Do I feel anxious? For example, are you thinking, “If we don’t commit I might lose this person or not get what I want?” If you are thinking this, slow down! Love and especially unconditional love, has infinite patience.

2). Do we have the same core values? 

Core values are: fundamental beliefs, highest priorities, ideas about money and spending, fundamental driving forces. Do you ultimately want the same things from life? Can you grow together?

3). Are they possessive, controlling, or jealous? 

Does they have deep insecurities that stifle you or hold you back in some way? Do you always feel like you have to prove yourself, or that no matter what you do it’s never enough? Does they not want you to connect with people of the opposite sex as friends? Does they care more about what they want from you rather what they can give to your connection?

4). Do I want them to meet my family and friends? 

Can they hang out with your close friends  and family in a relaxing environment or is it awkward? 

5).  Can I be fully myself with them? 

Are you hiding any aspects of yourself from your partner? Do you feel that they are judging you? Can you laugh with them? Can you cry with them? Can you be silly with them? Can you play with them?

6). Do they show up for me? 

Ultimately you need a best friend. Are you a priority? Can you talk to them? Does he/she hear you, receive you, care about what you are feeling and help you during crisis?

7). Do they want to give to me from their heart and soul? 

Do you feel like you are putting out more than you are receiving? Do they put energy into you? Are you touched and invested in emotionally? Is there reciprocity and thoughtfulness going both directions or is it one sided?

8). Are they as sexual as I am? 

Expressing and experiencing your sexuality IS important. Is the sex and frequency of sex good enough to make you want to commit? Can you express your deepest sexual needs and pleasure with them?

9. Do I feel aligned with their heart and soul? 

Alignment is everything. If you don't feel aligned with them on an energetic, heart based, soul connected level then it simply won't work for you both. Ask your heart that question, only your heart knows the answer. 

10. Do they take responsibility for when there is a break down in communication? 

Of course, you should be taking your own responsibility when there is a problem in communication, a trigger, or a trauma activation. Do they try and resolve issues amicably or do they take zero responsibility for anything that shows up? 

11. How high is their self-awareness? 

If you want a solid relationship for life then you absolutely need them to have self awareness. If you don't know how important this is then please check out our three part video series, here

Commitment is a BIG DEAL and you shouldn’t enter it lightly.

This is your LIFE. The agreements you make require a lot of energy, so are you putting your energy where it is facilitating your highest good? Or do you constantly find relationships that drain the shit out of you?

Don’t commit unless it’s really worth it to you.

If it is not a complete YES, don’t commit. Take your time. It can take a year or two before you fully get to know someone.

Good luck!