Some people are shocked when I tell them I will sometimes masturbate for up to an hour at a time. It’s something that is often met with raised eyebrows and even an air of concern, like I may have something wrong with me. Up until recently, masturbation had been a very private and personal thing for me, as it is with most people. But then when I started opening up about it to certain people, I was met with genuine curiosity and openness.
I learned something truly inspiring. Men really want to learn about this stuff, and they’re realising that it’s not only okay to really enjoy masturbation, but that it can also be a doorway to self-discovery.
Not all masturbation is created equal. When I say that I masturbate for up to an hour, what I’m actually saying is that I devote a certain amount of time each day to a Self-Love practice that involves masturbation. I refer to this as a practice in ‘Mindful Masturbation,’ which I have previously described as:
“Consciously utilising the senses for the purpose of cultivating self-pleasure, acceptance and self-knowledge.”
Mindful Masturbation, or ‘Orgasmic Yoga’ as it is also referred to, is a process of deepening your relationship with yourself and your sexuality. To that point, it is not merely about genital stimulation - although it may involve that - but is something that involves the whole body in the experience of sexual pleasure and orgasm. In this article it is my intention to expand upon the ideas and techniques that were discussed in my first article: Mindful Masturbation for Men, and really delve into more specific techniques of how to expand your experience of orgasm beyond your genitals.
I’m teasing a little bit with that last sentence, so allow me to put your suspense at ease and say that yes, you can learn how to experience toe-curling orgasmic sensations throughout your whole body, and not just your cock and balls.
First of all, I feel there’s a problem among a vocal minority of sex educators and authors, surrounding the definition of the word ‘orgasm.’ I have heard a lot of extraordinary claims about experiences like ‘hour-long orgasms.’ Upon greater scrutiny, however, it’s revealed that the author has taken artistic liberties with the word ‘orgasm’ and broadened their own definition of the word to simply refer to states of very heightened arousal. These states may feel ‘orgasmic’ but is it really ‘orgasm’ that they are referring to?
One such claim is the ‘fifteen-minute female orgasm’ from author Tim Ferris. The possibility of learning how to stimulate a woman to an orgasm that lasts for fifteen minutes was enough to have thousands of men scrambling for their wallets (myself included), but when you actually break down the process he describes, it is more-or-less fifteen minutes of stimulation at a maintained state of heightened arousal, NOT an orgasm that lasts for fifteen minutes.
The evidence in support of orgasms lasting for an hour or more seems to be dubious, beyond medical anomalies (these people are most likely the exceptions that sadly prove the rule for the rest of us), and filled with vague and ambiguous language. American Author, Patricia Taylor is one example. Taylor allegedly provided evidence of orgasms in test subjects lasting for hours at a time in her PhD research, yet my hopes were dimmed upon actually reading her paper and finding no clear definition of how she classified her subjects’ experiences of orgasm, instead of filling her paragraphs with vague words like ‘transcendence.’ I decided to look up the institution where she supposedly received her PhD and sure enough, the International University of Professional Studies is an unaccredited institution specialising in non-evidence based fields like ‘Spiritual Psychology.’ So it seems not even Patricia’s Ph. D is genuine. This is not to suggest it is not possible, just that more genuine research needs to be done.
However, whilst there is as-of-yet little scientific evidence of people experiencing an orgasm that can last for up to an hour, it IS possible to experience heightened states of orgasmic arousal for extended periods of time. It is these states of heightened arousal and pleasure that we shall be exploring in the following techniques.
For this reason, let’s give the word ‘orgasm’ the unambiguous definition that it deserves and use it to refer to the ‘climax’ of sexual excitement beyond the point-of-no-return. Other heightened states of arousal you experience may be orgasmic and euphoric but are not the orgasm itself. I say this not to diminish the relevance of other sex educators and their methods, but to be straightforward about what is actually achievable and what is not. I say it so that you understand me when I say that you really can learn how to have mind-blowing experiences of pleasure throughout your body that continue to escalate all the way until you orgasm (and also after you orgasm).
So enough with the theory, let’s have some explosive orgasms. I have found the techniques described in this section to be extremely effective at generating and maintaining heightened states of pleasure. Some of the techniques like ‘Edging’ may be hard to implement at first but keep at it and the rewards will be paid back tenfold. A lot of the fundamentals I have already covered in my previous article, Mindful Masturbation for Men so I suggest reading up on the basics in that article first.
Part 1: Setting Aside the Time to Practice.
If you want to deepen your experience of your sexuality and learn to expand orgasm beyond your cock, I would recommend setting aside some alone time for self-discovery. I don’t prescribe any strict rules for this, although I would recommend at least twice or three times a week for a while to see how you go. I would recommend you set aside at least half an hour on each of these days to practice. I use the word ‘practice’ but remember to treat it as something fun, this is about curiosity and self-discovery. It’s ultimately about cultivating a deep love and connection with yourself and your sexual nature as a man.
Expand the use of touch, massage and stroking over your entire body, not just your cock. Use massage oils if you have them and get yourself oiled up and slippery, savouring every inch of your body with your touch. During this time of exploration and play, focus on not only the pleasure you experience but also on simply appreciating your body and sexual nature. Wake your body up to its pleasure and arousal.
I often like dancing to tribal drums during these times of self-exploration as it gets me more in touch with my inner wildness and primal masculinity.
Part 3: Genital Touch and Orgasmic “Edging.”
Begin genital masturbation while still caressing the other areas of your body intermittently or with a free hand. As you get more and more sexually excited and begin to approach the point-of-no-return (where you would normally reach orgasm and ejaculate), stop genital stimulation before going ‘over the edge’ and move your hands over all parts of your body again, with the intention of spreading the arousal through your entire body. You may lose your erection during this stage which is fine.
Once your genital arousal has calmed down a bit and you have stimulated the rest of your body, go back to stimulating your cock again and this time, edge just a little bit closer to the point-of-no-return without going over and repeat the process of spreading the arousal throughout your body. With practice, every time you do this your arousal will become more and more powerful every time you edge closer to orgasm and involve your whole body in the experience of pleasure. Continue doing it as many times as you want and when you feel you are ready to take yourself over the edge, move into that beautiful experience and fully embrace your body’s yearning for release.
Actually knowing where your ‘point-of-no-return’ is can be a difficult thing to figure out if you haven’t tried ‘edging’ your orgasms before, and the excitement can be so much that you may find yourself going over the edge prematurely without thinking about it. This is fine, it’s a normal stage in the learning.
During your ‘Edging’ practice, it might be helpful to use the Big Draw technique. When you reach your ‘edge’ and stop genital stimulation, begin up-regulated deep belly-breathing while you spread the arousal through your body. Also, contract your PC muscles on every deep inhalation and release those muscles on every exhalation. Relax your abdominal muscles and use your hands in a sort of clawing motion from your pubic area and draw your hands up your torso and chest and massage them down and around your body.
It might be helpful to describe one of my own practice sessions and go into a little more detail with each aspect. The following practice session is one I did just earlier this week and was a powerful experience for me. You can use the following practice if you like or change it to suit whatever you are feeling when you get ready to practice. I have found it more helpful to choreograph the different stages of the erotic experiences and exercises I wish to explore before I actually begin. The important thing is to cultivate your curiosity and to explore yourself and your sexuality. I have found this helps me be more in the moment with the experience.
I leave you with this glimpse into my private self-love practice and wish you all the pleasure, joy and self-love on your journey to self-discovery and acceptance.
Genital Meditation (approx 15 minutes)
For this, I sat naked on my mat in a seated meditation. For the first five minutes, I let myself relax and brought my attention to my genitals. Letting myself feel into my cock and balls, getting a feel for their resting state of non-arousal. For the second five minutes, I cupped my genitals with my hands and focussed on my appreciation for them and how amazing it is to have them. My cock became hard when I felt that appreciation. For the last minutes, I sat in quiet appreciation and self-love for the whole of who I am.
Orgasmic Dance (approx 10 minutes)
I played some tribal drums music and let myself be in the moment without judgement while dancing. I experienced a great sense of freedom and non-judgement for my emotional expression.
Pleasuring the Heart (approx 20 mins)
While stimulating my body and genitals I focussed on bringing that pleasure into my heart and emotions. I did this by edging and then holding a hand over my heart while experiencing the flow of heightened arousal. At around twenty minutes I orgasmed and moved into the experience of the contractions as I ejaculated.
Resting Self-Love Meditation (approx 10 mins)
I lay in silence, gently stroking my cock and breathing deeply and slowly, filling myself with pride, appreciation and self-love. I rested here and remained in a sense of euphoric dizziness for about half an hour after I went back to my normal daily routine.